Month: March 2023

31st March 2023

Losing your job is one of the most stressful situations you can experience. It’s even more stressful when it’s unexpected and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight. You might feel like there’s nothing you can do, but that isn’t true. There are steps you can take to help deal with this difficult situation.

Give yourself time to grieve

You may be feeling a lot of emotions right now, and it’s important that you give yourself time to grieve. For many of us, our job or our career is not just a way of earning money, it’s part of who we are and how we see ourselves. It will obviously take time to adjust to this dramatic change in your life.

There’s no need to beat yourself up over your situation or compare yourself to others. You’re allowed to be sad, angry and disappointed – and as long as you don’t take it out on your family or friends, there’s no shame in it.

If someone says something negative about being out of work, ignore them or politely tell them that they have no idea what they’re talking about because they’ve never been through this themselves. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for being out of work; if anything, try focusing on the positive aspects of unemployment, like having more time with your family.

You have options

You can choose how you react to the situation, and how it affects your life. You may find yourself feeling depressed or frustrated at times, but there are ways of coping with these feelings that will help make things easier on both yourself and those around you. If these emotions are too much for you then consider seeking professional help from a counsellor or therapist who can guide you through this time in an empathetic way, helping you understand what it means for you as well as providing support so you can continue to function with your day-to-day life while you process your loss.

Try and accept that the situation is out of your control

Understand that the situation is out of your control. Try not to dwell on what was, and focus on what could be. This shift could be a positive change in your life, where you get to change direction or focus in your life.

Don’t blame yourself for the loss of your job; redundancies are just a part of life, and they happen all the time. Try to remind yourself that it is just a change, a different landscape that you need to adjust to.

In the end, losing your job can be a difficult experience. You may feel like it’s all up to you, but there are many resources available to help you find new employment. You just need to know where to look and have some patience!

Need some help navigating your redundancy? I offer personalised, sensitive bereavement counselling in Harrogate. Feel free to get in touch and I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have.

16th March 2023

Breakups are hard on everyone, whether it’s divorce, separation or breaking up with a partner. Even if you’ve been through a breakup before, it’s important to remember that each relationship is different. You may find yourself dealing with more intense feelings than usual because of the added stress, like having more time on your hands or finding out that your ex has moved on quickly (or hasn’t at all). That said, there are many strategies for coping with the loss of a relationship breakup.

Don’t ignore your feelings

When you find yourself in the midst of a breakup, it is important not to ignore your feelings. It can be tempting to try and bury your emotions or change them, but this will only lead to more pain in the long run. Instead of ignoring your feelings and trying to pretend like nothing happened, allow yourself time alone with your thoughts and feelings, whether that is grief, anger, frustration, or depression – they are all valid and accepting them as part of the process will help you move on.

Try to avoid the blame game

When a relationship ends, it can be easy to blame yourself or the other person. But this is rarely useful and usually counterproductive. Blaming yourself will not bring the relationship back; instead, it will just make you feel worse about yourself and create more pain than necessary.

Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.

In order to move forward, you could start thinking about what you want and not what you don’t want. For example, if a relationship breakup has left your heart broken and your self-esteem damaged, focus on the fact that this is not where you want to be in life. Rather than focusing on how terrible things are right now or how much pain it’s causing you, think about what values and goals are important to you, and then take action toward achieving those goals!

Look after yourself.

Self-care is an important part of coping with the loss of a relationship breakup. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself, but that won’t help you get over your ex or feel better about yourself in the long run.

Listen to your body and what it needs. If you notice yourself getting tired or hungry more often than usual, make sure to eat well and get enough sleep. Taking care of yourself while you grieve will help you work through your loss more easily.

Don’t give up on love just because one relationship ended.

The first thing you need to do is not give up on love. Try to not let bad relationships make you think that there aren’t any good ones out there for you. It may be very painful right now, but remind yourself that the pain will diminish and there will come a time when you may be ready to take the relationship leap again. Your break up, if anything, should make you more open to finding someone else and better equipped to recognise if they’re right for you or not.

The breakup of a relationship is a painful experience for anyone, but it’s something that many of us go through at some point in our lives. The best way to cope with this difficult time is by practicing self-care and getting support from others who understand what you’re going through. Remember that time heals all wounds and that even if your heart feels like it will never be whole again right now, it will!

If you are struggling with a relationship breakup, or any other loss that has happened in your life, I offer bereavement counselling in Harrogate and online that can help. Feel free to get in touch at any time.

We normally associate grief with the death of a loved one, but there are many other types of loss that don’t involve death that can create similar feelings. Grief is a normal reaction to loss, but there are some things you can do to help yourself move through your feelings so that you can integrate your loss into your life.

The grief we feel when we suffer a loss that isn’t death related is no less powerful. We may still feel anger, regret and disillusionment. In fact, in some cases, it can be harder to grieve a non-death related loss as people may find it harder to understand how you are feeling. As people, we are more adept and accustomed to supporting someone who has lost a loved one, but in other cases of loss your friends and family may not know how to support you, and you may feel that your feelings are not valid.

Losing your job

Our jobs and our careers can form a significant part of our identity. This is why losing a job or ending your career can lead to you experiencing feelings of grief – it’s almost like part of you has died! Our sense of direction and purpose is often influenced by our careers so if that is taken away, you may start to question your sense of self. This may be particularly powerful if your job loss is unexpected, as you haven’t had time to prepare yourself for such a change.

However, this doesn’t mean that knowing you are going to lose your job in advance is any better, especially if you are approaching retirement as you still need time to adjust to the new normal and find ways to integrate your loss into your life.

Financial Stability

Experiencing a loss of financial stability due to factors such as job loss, asset loss or a decline in investments can trigger a profound sense of grief. This is due to the significant impact it can have on one’s sense of self. The financial worries and loss of security that ensue can be overwhelming, and coupled with the loss of identity that often accompanies a job or career loss, the experience can be devastating.

Estrangement

Estrangement between friends or family can occur due to various reasons such as conflict, disruption, or geographical distance, leading to a breakdown in communication and loss of contact. The resulting emotional turmoil experienced by those affected can be akin to the loss of a loved one, as you grapple with feelings of loss, frustration, and anger.

Moreover, the experience of estrangement can be made worse by a lack of understanding from others who may not understand the grief you feel.

Illness or Injury

If you have suffered a life changing illness or injury, you may also experience feelings of grief. You may feel, lost, frustrated or angry because of what has happened to you. You will be grieving your former self, your former life and what you were capable of and you may find it difficult accepting the new you and adapting to your life going forward. It is important to remember that adjusting to any major change in our lives takes time and patience.

Relationship breakdown

The end of any relationship is a significant event in our lives, and if your relationship was over a number of years, you will experience a sense of loss, as our relationships form an important part of our identity. You may be grieving the life you had, your familiar routines and your sense of self, and adjusting to this new landscape will take time.

If you are struggling with feelings of grief due to a significant change or loss in your life, talking to a professional can help you make sense of your emotions.

If you are looking for personalised, sensitive counselling in Harrogate or online, feel free to get in touch and I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have.