16th March 2023

Breakups are hard on everyone, whether it’s divorce, separation or breaking up with a partner. Even if you've been through a breakup before, it's important to remember that each relationship is different. You may find yourself dealing with more intense feelings than usual because of the added stress, like having more time on your hands or finding out that your ex has moved on quickly (or hasn't at all). That said, there are many strategies for coping with the loss of a relationship breakup.

Don’t ignore your feelings

When you find yourself in the midst of a breakup, it is important not to ignore your feelings. It can be tempting to try and bury your emotions or change them, but this will only lead to more pain in the long run. Instead of ignoring your feelings and trying to pretend like nothing happened, allow yourself time alone with your thoughts and feelings, whether that is grief, anger, frustration, or depression – they are all valid and accepting them as part of the process will help you move on.

Try to avoid the blame game

When a relationship ends, it can be easy to blame yourself or the other person. But this is rarely useful and usually counterproductive. Blaming yourself will not bring the relationship back; instead, it will just make you feel worse about yourself and create more pain than necessary.

Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.

In order to move forward, you could start thinking about what you want and not what you don't want. For example, if a relationship breakup has left your heart broken and your self-esteem damaged, focus on the fact that this is not where you want to be in life. Rather than focusing on how terrible things are right now or how much pain it's causing you, think about what values and goals are important to you, and then take action toward achieving those goals!

Look after yourself.

Self-care is an important part of coping with the loss of a relationship breakup. It's so easy to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself, but that won't help you get over your ex or feel better about yourself in the long run.

Listen to your body and what it needs. If you notice yourself getting tired or hungry more often than usual, make sure to eat well and get enough sleep. Taking care of yourself while you grieve will help you work through your loss more easily.

Don't give up on love just because one relationship ended.

The first thing you need to do is not give up on love. Try to not let bad relationships make you think that there aren't any good ones out there for you. It may be very painful right now, but remind yourself that the pain will diminish and there will come a time when you may be ready to take the relationship leap again. Your break up, if anything, should make you more open to finding someone else and better equipped to recognise if they're right for you or not.

The breakup of a relationship is a painful experience for anyone, but it's something that many of us go through at some point in our lives. The best way to cope with this difficult time is by practicing self-care and getting support from others who understand what you're going through. Remember that time heals all wounds and that even if your heart feels like it will never be whole again right now, it will!

If you are struggling with a relationship breakup, or any other loss that has happened in your life, I offer bereavement counselling in Harrogate and online that can help. Feel free to get in touch at any time.