Judy Field

Counselling in Harrogate, North Yorkshire


3 Tips for Coping When a Spouse or Partner Dies

21st July 2022

Over the years as a bereavement counsellor in Harrogate, I have worked with many men and women who have recently lost their spouse or partner. And I know how uniquely painful it can be – to lose the person who was closer to you than anyone, for them to all of a sudden no longer be in your life.

Working through this pain takes time, and things will never quite be the same again, but I can assure you that reaching a better place is absolutely possible. There are many widows out there, and they do manage to enjoy fulfilling, peaceful lives. If you are someone who has recently lost a partner or spouse, this blog post gives you three things to keep in mind as you go through this challenging time.

 

Give Yourself Time To Grieve

To start with, you have to accept that there will be shock, denial, and a raft of other emotions, which always vary from person to person. You may be guilty, angry, fearful, confused, or just deeply depressed. All of these emotions are entirely valid, and form an important part of the grieving process. Not letting yourself feel them means that you will only delay the grieving process until later. Giving yourself that time to mourn the loss of your partner or spouse is so important in this sense; it means you are actively expressing your thoughts and feelings and allowing yourself to heal.

 

Look After Your Body

When someone extremely important to you dies, the grief that you feel can be so profound that you forget to take care of the mini tasks required to stay healthy. A lot of people struggle with sleep, for example, or stop eating healthily, or perhaps stop eating entirely. Maybe they drink less water, and stop exercising. Of course, falling behind on one’s physical health is natural after such a monumental event, but staying on top of this aspect of your life is particularly important. Maintaining a healthy schedule won’t prevent you from feeling difficult emotions, but it will prevent you from feeling worse.

 

Seek Support When You’re Ready

I understand that looking after yourself all on your own after your partner or spouse has died is never easy. Many find it impossible. In these moments, when you feel hopeless and alone, reaching out is the best thing you can do. Family and friends can help with small chores that need to be done, giving you more space to grieve and do whatever feels right. That proximity to those who care about you is a valuable feeling.

However, I know that not everyone feels comfortable expressing their emotions to family and friends, nor is doing so always possible for some people. If you are struggling with the death of a partner or spouse and need a place to talk, my practice offers you a completely confidential, non-judgemental space to receive bespoke bereavement counselling in Harrogate and online.

Get in Touch

To find out more about Individual CounsellingBereavement Therapy, Remote Counselling or my other services, you can contact me on 07855 059 964. Due to the nature of my work, I am not always available to answer the phone – please leave a voicemail message and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Appointments now available for in-person sessions, with social distancing in place. My therapy room is well ventilated and cleaned between each client session.

Most of the time I am able to offer you your first therapy session within a few days of your initial enquiry.

View my opening hours

Fees & Location

I offer an optional FREE Initial 30-minute telephone consultation to give you the opportunity to get a sense of what I am like and see whether you think I am someone you feel comfortable talking to about your issues.

By contacting me through the form below you are agreeing to share your personal data with me. For more information about how I securely store and use your data, please see my Privacy Policy.

Opening Hours

I am able to offer day, evening and weekend appointments, subject to availability. My final appointment time on an evening is 8pm, Monday to Thursday and 7pm on a Friday.


Monday: 8am to 9pm

Tuesday: 8am to 9pm

Wednesday: 8am to 9pm

Thursday: 8am to 9pm

Friday: 8am to 8pm

Saturday: 8am to 2pm

Sunday: Closed

Opening Hours

I am able to offer daytime, evening and weekend appointments, subject to availability. My final appointment time on an evening is 8pm, Monday to Thursday and 7pm on a Friday.


Monday: 8am to 9pm

Tuesday: 8am to 9pm

Wednesday: 8am to 9pm

Thursday: 8am to 9pm

Friday: 8am to 8pm

Saturday: 9am to 3pm

Sunday: Closed

Opening Hours

I am able to offer daytime and evening appointments, subject to availability. My final appointment time on an evening is 8pm, Monday to Thursday and 7pm on a Friday.


Monday: 8am to 9pm

Tuesday: 8am to 9pm

Wednesday: 8am to 9pm

Thursday: 8am to 9pm

Friday: 8am to 8pm

Saturday: Closed

Sunday: Closed

Cookie Policy

Cookies are small text files that are placed on your computer by websites that you visit. They are widely used in order to make websites work, or work more efficiently, as well as to provide information to the owners of the site.This website does not require cookies in order to function properly. The information below explains the cookies we use and why.

Cookie
Used For
Cookie Bar (cb-enabled)

This is used to remember whether you have clicked the button to acknowledge our use of cookies. Without this, the bar would always show.

Social Media Sharing Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Google, AddThis

We include Facebook and Twitter plugins on this website to help you share content that may be of interest to your social network. We also use AddThis, which is a service allowing social media sharing with a range of alternatives to Facebook and Twitter. Some pages may also include Google or YouTube features which need cookies in order to work, improve service and prevent fraud.


Note that Social Media companies usually design cookies in a way that enable them to track your activity across multiple websites and this may be a reason you choose to disable cookies.


See How does Facebook use cookies

See AddThis Privacy and Data Practices

See Twitter Privacy Policy

See Google Privacy Policy (includes YouTube)

To read more about how we respect your personal information please view our Privacy Notice which may include more information about our use of cookies.

You have the ability to accept or decline cookies by modifying the settings in your browser, however you may not be able to use all the interactive features of our site if cookies are disabled. To find out more about cookies, including how to see what cookies have been set and how to manage and delete them, visit www.aboutcookies.org.