Judy Field

Counselling in Harrogate, North Yorkshire


How Certain Dates Can Bring Up Feelings of Loss

25th February 2022

When a loved one dies, there will inevitably be moments when we are reminded of them further down the line. Generally speaking, we do our best to go about our lives and not live in the past, but certain dates throughout the year make it impossible to not think about a bereavement. And this is always hard. You may feel like you won’t be able to cope; it feels like a scary unknown, and you might end up being surprised by how a particular date impacts you. To help you navigate this issue, this blog walks through dates that people often find ‘triggering’ and what you could do to make the process a bit easier.

Anniversaries

The hardest date is usually the anniversary of when someone died. Experiencing this date again, especially for the first time, has a way of bringing back the emotions you felt at the time. You should not beat yourself up for feeling bad at this moment. It’s perfectly normal. Many people tend to visit the deceased’s place of rest and pay respects, as this brings them closer to them and allows for some grief to be processed. However, if this feels like too much for you, there is no obligation on you to do this. You may prefer to do something else entirely.

Birthdays

In similar fashion to anniversaries, the birthday of someone who has died will bring into focus the pain of them not being around anymore. It is a sad reminder that they are no longer with us. You may wish to honour them on this day by doing something they would have liked doing, such as visiting a certain place or imbibing a particular drink they liked. Alternatively, this could be a good time to seek the support and company of friends. Feeling close to the people who are still with you can be important on dark days when your mind keeps drifting towards a loved one who has died.

Celebrations

If, for example, your mother has passed away recently, the coming of Mother’s Day can feel quite triggering. It can be especially hard to see everyone else celebrating with their mothers, so take care to be kind to yourself on this day. Treat yourself. Do something that makes you feel good. Another option, as always, is to reach out to your friends. They will know that this may be a difficult time for you and be happy to spend time with you on this day. You should always feel like you can reach out to your loved ones.

However, if you don’t feel like you can talk to your loved ones about a bereavement at difficult times like these, my bereavement counselling in Harrogate and online provides a safe, confidential, strictly private space for you to talk through your issues in a way that suits you. Feel free to get in touch and ask any questions you might have.

 

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To find out more about Individual CounsellingBereavement Therapy, Remote Counselling or my other services, you can contact me on 07855 059 964. Due to the nature of my work, I am not always available to answer the phone – please leave a voicemail message and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Appointments now available for in-person sessions, with social distancing in place. My therapy room is well ventilated and cleaned between each client session.

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I am able to offer day, evening and weekend appointments, subject to availability. My final appointment time on an evening is 8pm, Monday to Thursday and 7pm on a Friday.


Monday: 8am to 9pm

Tuesday: 8am to 9pm

Wednesday: 8am to 9pm

Thursday: 8am to 9pm

Friday: 8am to 8pm

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Opening Hours

I am able to offer daytime, evening and weekend appointments, subject to availability. My final appointment time on an evening is 8pm, Monday to Thursday and 7pm on a Friday.


Monday: 8am to 9pm

Tuesday: 8am to 9pm

Wednesday: 8am to 9pm

Thursday: 8am to 9pm

Friday: 8am to 8pm

Saturday: 9am to 3pm

Sunday: Closed

Opening Hours

I am able to offer daytime and evening appointments, subject to availability. My final appointment time on an evening is 8pm, Monday to Thursday and 7pm on a Friday.


Monday: 8am to 9pm

Tuesday: 8am to 9pm

Wednesday: 8am to 9pm

Thursday: 8am to 9pm

Friday: 8am to 8pm

Saturday: Closed

Sunday: Closed

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